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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it describes partners who forgo having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your decision to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday repulsions that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {